Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Fuck appropriateness.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
