it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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