Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
