my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize