tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
