just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
