I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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