dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
