Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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