It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize