Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
