People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it glows. i had to have it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
