Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
