I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
