maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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