I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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