I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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