Is it normal to miss your booty call?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
