Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
