and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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