Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
