shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
