Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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