He kissed a someone with a penis
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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