You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
