matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
