I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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