that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
