a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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