you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
