Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
