Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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