i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
