Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
