sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
