WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
