We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just high enough for therapy.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
