I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
