I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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