I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
