The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
