Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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