operation have a gay friend backfired
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
