shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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