Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
