Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
