I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
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