i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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