During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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