I'm gonna have a badass scar
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
