M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
