sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
