We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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