You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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