is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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