cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
