Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
no, he came in my armpit
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
