I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
